SELFTIMEOUT AFFIRMATION

HOME

RETURN TO: selftimeout.org

RETURN TO: selftimeout.com

AFFIRMATION
Moving from having the consequences of choosing to frame my life negatively
to having the consequences of choosing to frame my life positively.

AFFIRMATION AND SCIENCE

Why does Love make me aware of you?
Why do I need to test your love for me by saying NO to you.
When you accept NO for an answer why do I feel safer and less anxious but more vulnerable?
Why is it so important for me to find someone who cares about my existence and my development?
Why is it important for me to care about my own existance and my own development?
Why do I need someone to witness my life?
Why do I need to wiitness your life?
Why does the need to survive make a baby so aware of the parents mood, the parent’s feelings etc.
Why do negative statements repeated to myself during the day create dark moods, more anxiety and more impulsive and unsuccessful decisions?
Why do some positive affirmations work to improve mood?
Why do I make decisions that work better after I have given myself a rest from negative self talk?
Why does praying to a higher power for the wherewithal to be more aware of my negative impulses lead to more awareness and more choice about interrupting impulse?
Why is my body so important to decision making?
Why do Connie and Chuck stay so focused on DEVELOPMENT?
Why is positive reinforcement essential in modeling conscience and social development?

It is true that you can not be convinced or tricked or taught to use the tools of Noticing Impulse, Interrupting Impulses, and REPLACING IMPULSE BASED PLANS with plans using currrent sensate data to address current physical feelings and needs.

It is also true that you can not be convinced or tricked or taught to use FIVE STEP SELF TME OUTS.

But you can choose voluntarily to make your own experiments. Research into these areas of human psychology and family dynamics has answered these questions through clever experimentation, documentation and anylysis. See our reading list. But we have also come to know the answers to these questions personally, from observing hundreds of familys and individuas, our own family members and ourselves. So can you.

In real families these questions answer themselves in how old conflicts are resolved into new conflicts, or transecended into new frames of reference. These new frames of reference lead to new problems to resolve with choice and new plans which inevitably lead to new experiences which create new sensations, leading to wonderful unimagined human possibilities.

First I notice that I feel depressed or angry or powerless or hopeless. At some point I might notice that I am talking to myself very negatvely. When I notice negative self talk and then I choose to interrupt negative self talk and then I choos to replace negative self talk with affirmirmative self talk, I notice that I begin to have different feelings. When I repeat this Noticing, Interruptiing and Replacing process all day long I begin to feel less anger, less powerlessness and less hopelessness. I realize that I have voluntarily changed my own mood.

My mood has changed because I have voluntarily moved my focus off trying to force myself and shame myself to do things differently. Instead I have begun to focus upon encourageing myself and remembering what is possible for humans to accomplish and what I have already accomplished. I am choosing to remember what I am capable of doing and remembering to notice when I am doing better. I have voluntarily changed what I am focusing upon.

I begin to feel more powerful. Not the power to manipulate or dominate but the powere to develop. Not the power to believe I can get others to do stuff but the power to move through problems. I can give myself the realization that when I take responsibility for the consequences of my own choices in terms of daily self care, I am giving myself the ability to free mysef from power struggle and from anyone who would try to bully me.

There is something about moving through the physiological and psycological stages of developlement that frames new problems for us to solve as we move ahaead and build our skills. On good days I am faced with new delemas to reconcile, new power struggles to get stuck in and move through.

Fortunately we do not have to fully understand why a tool works in order for the tool to work. Pencils work. Wrenches work. Sometimes computers work. Gravety usually works. I feel blessed when these tools work. I may need to understand much of why an airplane works in order to build one that works but I don't need to understand anything at all about how an airplane works to successfully be a passenger. I do need some faith in order to get into the damn thing and tell them to take it up. It is OK to need to understand the physics. See our reading list. It is also OK to just make a prayer and then get on the airplane. Faith in the tools of AFFIRMATION comes not from believing us but from giving the tools a good week long try out. If a week feels too long give them a day. If a day feels too long give them an hour. We think it is wise to try POSITIVE AFFIRMATION long enough to couteract the effects of the very long running experiment we all have been doing by subjeting ourselves to all that negativee self talk. LONG TERM STUDY TITLE: WHY DO I FEEL SO CRUMMY?

It is important that the Affirmations I choose to say to myself throughout the day are well constructed and that they conform to the physics of human development. And it is important that I find the wherewithall to say them often enough to myself so that they can possibly counteract the thousands of negative statements I make to myself every day.

Life is experimenting with plans. When I choose to make experiments and plans based upon the input my body gives me right now instead of upon impulse... I give myself a better chance at wisdom. When I make an experimental plan and then I am willing to know how I feel about the outcome of the experimental plan and then I am also willing to use honest curiosity to evaluate the results of my experimental plan... I am doing what humans can do to develop and survive.

We look at this as a logical process that leads to spiritual experience. When I notice that I have the power to help myself by changing my focus and by using self care tools to take care of my own mood I realize that my mood is not the slave of any other person's behavior or any other person's mood. This realization invites hope. I can accomplish much with that hope. I can heal myself. I can be a model for healing for my children. There is science here. There is more than science here.

AFFIRMATION
(dictionary.com)
–noun

1. the act or an instance of affirming; state of being affirmed.
2. the assertion that something exists or is true.
3. something that is affirmed; a statement or proposition that is declared to be true.

REPEATING AFFIRMATIONS... WHY?

It is important that the Affirmations I choose to say to myself throughout the day are well constructed and that they conform to the physics of human development. And it is imprtant that I find the wherewithall to say them often enough to myself so that they counteract the effect of thousands of negative statements I make to myself every day.

After working on these ideas for several decades we have noticed that the it takes only about 10% positive affirmations to conteract the effect of negative self talk events in a day. So if I say negative things to myself one thousand times in a day I will need about one hundred affirmations to break even. When I say one hundred or more of them to myself as part of a daily mental hygene self nurturing structure, positive affirmations are very powerful mood self care tools . It is amazing that it seems to take only a small percentage of affirmation to counteract so much negative. This is strong evidence to us of the imprtance of human humility. We have presented some suggested stuctures for you to consider, download and modify as you see fit.

The diffeerence between short term memory and long term memory is related to how many times the neurons are excited. If a low stress event happens once or only a few times protein is not created... this is short term memory. Long Term Memory happens when a low stress event happens repeatedly over time. A DNA process is triggered which actually creates protein. This involves "binding molecules". WIKIPEDIA

DAILY SELF NURTURING STRUCTURES SAMPLE AFFIRMATION JOURNAL PAGES You can download these SAMPLES and customize them using Microsoft WORD to fit your own developmental needs .
AFFIRMATION SETS You download the AFFIRMATION SETS below and use them to customize the DAILY SELF NURTURING STRUCTURES. You can use COPY and PASTE in Microsoft WORD.	AFFIRMATIONS WITH EXERCISE You can dowload this DAILY SELF-NURTURING STRUCTURE and customize it as you wish.

AFFIRMATION SETS
I feel good about myself. I feel good about myself. I feel good about myself. I feel good about myself.	I feel like I can do this now. I feel like I can do this now. I feel like I can do this now. I feel like I can do this now.
I feel better when I affirm myself. I feel better when I affirm myself. I feel better when I affirm myself. I feel better when I affirm myself.	This feels like something I have done before. This feels like something I have done before. This feels like something I have done before. This feels like something I have done before.
I don't trust this process but I can give it a chance. I don't trust this process but I can give it a chance. I don't trust this process but I can give it a chance. I don't trust this process but I can give it a chance.	I have chosen not to abandon myself. I have chosen not to abandon myself. I have chosen not to abandon myself. I have chosen not to abandon myself.
This process is hard and I will keep trying. This process is hard and I will keep trying. This process is hard and I will keep trying. This process is hard and I will keep trying.	I have chosen not abandon myself. I have chosen not abandon myself. I have chosen not abandon myself. I have chosen not abandon myself.
I don't feel in control but perhaps this is better. I don't feel in control but perhaps this is better. I don't feel in control but perhaps this is better. I don't feel in control but perhaps this is better.	Now I have a better plan. Now I have a better plan. Now I have a better plan. Now I have a better plan.
I can get good at this. I can get good at this. I can get good at this. I can get good at this.	I like to have some gentle structure in my life. I like to have some gentle structure in my life. I like to have some gentle structure in my life. I like to have some gentle structure in my life.
I can find my way on my own. I can find my way on my own. I can find my way on my own. I can find my way on my own.	I still feel angry but I know I don't want to be impulsive. I still feel angry but I know I don't want to be impulsive. I still feel angry but I know I don't want to be impulsive. I still feel angry but I know I don't want to be impulsive.
I feel better when I'm not so impulsive. I feel better when I'm not so impulsive. I feel better when I'm not so impulsive. I feel better when I'm not so impulsive.	I still feel hurt but I know I don't want to hurt others. I still feel hurt but I know I don't want to hurt others. I still feel hurt but I know I don't want to hurt others. I still feel hurt but I know I don't want to hurt others.
I am good at this. I am good at this. I am good at this. I am good at this.	I'm not sure I feel safe but I will keep trying. I'm not sure I feel safe but I will keep trying. I'm not sure I feel safe but I will keep trying. I'm not sure I feel safe but I will keep trying.
Being less manipulative feels good. Being less manipulative feels good. Being less manipulative feels good. Being less manipulative feels good.	Saying “NO” feels weird but it feels good. Saying “NO” feels weird but it feels good. Saying “NO” feels weird but it feels good. Saying “NO” feels weird but it feels good.
Being less frightened feels good. Being less frightened feels good. Being less frightened feels good. Being less frightened feels good.	I like myself better when I'm not attacking somebody. I like myself better when I'm not attacking somebody. I like myself better when I'm not attacking somebody. I like myself better when I'm not attacking somebody.
When I feel NO and I say NO and I do NO I injure no one. When I feel NO and I say NO and I do NO I injure no one. When I feel NO and I say NO and I do NO I injure no one. When I feel NO and I say NO and I do NO I injure no one.	Now I can just be proud of myself. Now I can just be proud of myself. Now I can just be proud of myself. Now I can just be proud of myself.
Now I don't feel so angry. Now I don't feel so angry. Now I don't feel so angry. Now I don't feel so angry.	I don't need help. I just want to say what happened. I don't need help. I just want to say what happened. I don't need help. I just want to say what happened. I don't need help. I just want to say what happened.
Now I don't feel so dependent. Now I don't feel so dependent. Now I don't feel so dependent. Now I don't feel so dependent.	Now I know what a Time Out is supposed to be. Now I know what a Time Out is supposed to be. Now I know what a Time Out is supposed to be. Now I know what a Time Out is supposed to be.
Now I don't feel so isolated. Now I don't feel so isolated. Now I don't feel so isolated. Now I don't feel so isolated.	Now the whole thing feels possible. Now the whole thing feels possible. Now the whole thing feels possible. Now the whole thing feels possible.
Taking care of myself is a great idea! Taking care of myself is a great idea! Taking care of myself is a great idea! Taking care of myself is a great idea!	It is good not to let other people's immaturity in! It is good not to let other people's immaturity in! It is good not to let other people's immaturity in! It is good not to let other people's immaturity in!
I am astonished at the good job I did. I am astonished at the good job I did. I am astonished at the good job I did. I am astonished at the good job I did.	I can choose to believe in myself. I can choose to believe in myself. I can choose to believe in myself. I can choose to believe in myself.
I can have more than one feeling. I can have more than one feeling. I can have more than one feeling. I can have more than one feeling.	I can choose to notice what my body feels. I can choose to notice what my body feels. I can choose to notice what my body feels. I can choose to notice what my body feels.
I can choose to label what I’m feeling. I can choose to label what I’m feeling. I can choose to label what I’m feeling. I can choose to label what I’m feeling.	I can choose to notice what my body needs. I can choose to notice what my body needs. I can choose to notice what my body needs. I can choose to notice what my body needs.
I can choose to label what I’m needing. I can choose to label what I’m needing. I can choose to label what I’m needing. I can choose to label what I’m needing.	When I know what I feel and what I need I can make a plan. When I know what I feel and what I need I can make a plan. When I know what I feel and what I need I can make a plan. When I know what I feel and what I need I can make a plan.
I can choose to like myself. I can choose to like myself. I can choose to like myself. I can choose to like myself.	My happiness comes from my self-care. My happiness comes from my self-care. My happiness comes from my self-care. My happiness comes from my self-care.
I can choose to believe in myself. I can choose to believe in myself. I can choose to believe in myself. I can choose to believe in myself.	I can find out what I am capable of accomplishing. I can find out what I am capable of accomplishing. I can find out what I am capable of accomplishing. I can find out what I am capable of accomplishing.