STEP #4
I can make a new plan to take care of my own feelings and needs.
First I can choose to seek support from:
Select One: AA (Alcoholics Anonymous meeting) accountant adult care provider Alanon meeting attorney aunt battered men's counselor battered women's counselor boss boyfriend brother CA (Codependence Anonymous meeting) cantadora chemical dependency counselor child care provider Child Protective Services chiropractor clergy coach community leader consumer credit counselor counselor curandera curanderismo dance instructor doctor domestic violence counselor Elder family father favorite author FBI (Federal Bureau of Investigation) Fire Department fireman friend funeral director girlfriend God Father grandfather grandmother Health Department herbalist husband imam instructor lawyer leader librarian Local Spiritual Assembly massage therapist mediator medical doctor medicine man medicine woman mentor minister mother music teacher NA (Narcotics Anonymous meeting) naturopath neighbor nephew niece nurse parson partner pastor peace maker peace officer physical trainer Police Department police officer political party preschool provider priest probation office professor psychiatrist psychoanalyst rabbi Reiki practitioner school counselor sister spiritual retreat sponsor Sunday school teacher supervisor teacher team doctor therapist Tribal leader Tribal support counselor twelve step meeting union steward voice instructor wife yoga instructor

Then I can choose to make a new plan based on my feelings and needs.
Select One: I can buy things for myself when I have the money. I can accept my healing path. I can accept my mistakes. I can accept my self worth. I can accept not knowing what will happen. I can acknowledge my blessings. I can acknowledge myself. I can ask for reassurance. I can ask for support. I can choose not to give more than is good for me. I can be more consistent in my choices. I can believe in my dream. I can believe in myself. I can believe in you. I can believe in your dream. I can call a doctor. I can call a friend. I can call a hotline. I can call my spiritual support. I can call the help line. I can call the police. I can change my mood. I can choose a healing practitioner. I can choose not to abandon my child. I can choose not to abandon my family members. I can choose not to abandon my friends. I can choose not to abandon my husband. I can choose not to abandon my partner. I can choose not to abandon my wife. I can choose not to abandon myself. I can create humor. I can cry. I can decide to change. I can demand to have a doctor I feel safe with. I can demonstrate that I am safe to be with. I can develop a plan. I can disengage. I can CHOOSE a project and get busy on it. I can do deep breathing. I can do yoga. I can eat moderately. I can engage in medicine work. I can exercise. I can follow the plan. I can forgive myself. I can forgive others. I can free my soul. I can get a massage. I can get help. I can get help from a support person or a person in authority. I can give love without loosing my identity. I can go for a jog. I can go on a retreat. I can go to a chiropractor. I can go to a doctor. I can go to a mosque. I can go to a movie. I can go to a synagogue. I can go to church. I can go to the circus. I can hear the feelings and needs of my husband. I can hear the feelings and needs of my partner. I can hear the feelings and needs of my wife. I can hesitate and then take a 5 step time out. I can join a group. I can laugh. I can learn to hesitate. I can leave the room. I can let my true self be known. I can listen to someone without agreeing with them. I can live my dream. I can make a feeling statement without hurting anyone. I can find a better job before I quit this job. I can make amends. I can make amends to others without personal contract. I can meditate. I can practice my favorite skill. I can praise myself. I can praise myself when I do a little better. I can pray. I can read a book. I can receive a compliment. I can receive attention. I can receive knowledge. I can receive love. I can receive respect. I can refuse abuse. I can refuse to abuse myself. I can refuse to be abused by others. I can release the pain. I am valid with or without the approval of others. I can remember that I deserve support. I can remember to take a time out before I make a promise. I can remember to take a time out before I make a decision. I can remember to take a time out before I parent. I can remember to take a time out before talk. I can say "No" even though I don't have a reason to say "No." I can say what I feel and need and accept "No." for an answer. I can say what I feel and need and choose not to be aggressive. I can say what I feel instead of acting out what I feel. I can seek mediation. I can set my boundaries and get help if they are ignored. I can remember my affirmations. I can sleep. I can remember my spiritual values. I can speak for myself. I can speak my truth. I can spend more time with music. I can spend my time the way I choose. I can stop saying "Yes" when I mean "No". I can take a bath. I can take a rest. I can take a vacation. I can take a walk. I can take action. I can take my medications as directed. I can take responsibility for what I say and do. I can take some sick time. I can talk to a credit counselor. I can talk to a friend. I can talk to a minister. I can talk to a mullah. I can talk to a priest. I can talk to a rabbi. I can talk to an Elder. I can talk to my brother. I can talk to my daughter. I can talk to my doctor about my medications. I can talk to my doctor about my symptoms. I can talk to my Father. I can talk to my grandfather. I can talk to my grandmother. I can talk to my Husband. I can talk to my Mother. I can talk to my partner. I can talk to my sister. I can talk to my son. I can talk to my Wife. I can tell my boss what I am willing to do, and what I need. I can tell my support person what I am feeling or needing. I can treat myself. I can treat myself well. I can value myself. I can visit a medicine person. I can wait. I can accept my true beauty. I can praise others. I don't want to get someone in trouble. I just want some help. I will express gratitude for my blessings. I will express gratitude often. I will remember I am human. Everybody else is too. I will have my beliefs without hurting others. I will stand up for what is right without creating danger.

STEP #5
I can choose to remember to praise myself for doing a good job of self care.
I can choose to be thankful that I remembered what to do. Select One: Being less frightened feels good. Being less manipulative feels good. I am good at this. Ifeel better when I'm not so impulsive. I can find my way on my own. I can get good at this. I don't feel in control but perhaps this is better. This process is hard and I will keep trying. I don't trust this process but I can give it a chance. I feel better when I affirm myself. I feel good about myself. I feel like I can do this now. This feels like something I have done before. I have chosen not to abandon myself. I have not abandoned myself. Now I have a better Plan. I like to have some gentle structure in my life. I still feel angry but I know I don't want to to be impulsive. I still feel hurt but I know I don't want to hurt others. I'm not sure I feel safe but I will keep trying. It feels weird but it feels good. I like myself better when I'm not attacking somebody. Now I can just be proud of myself. Now I don't feel so angry. Now I don't feel so dependent. Now I don't feel so isolated. Now I know I don't need help. I just want help. Now I know what a Time Out is supposed to be! Now the whole thing feels possible. Taking care of myself is a great idea. It is good not ot let other people's immaturity in! I am astonished at the good job I did.

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