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FAMILY STORIES

 

SHORT & LONG TERM MEMORY AND SELF-CARE

SHORT & LONG TERM MEMORY AND SELF-CARE

 

Do I really need to repeat all these Affirmations?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I say to myself, "I am foolish."  twenty times during a day, or when I say to myself, "You Stupid Jerk!!!", twenty times a day or, "What a stupid Mistake!" twenty times to yourself duing a day, or then when you say these things but hide it from yourself below your level of awareness, what are you up to?  And when I do it, what am I up to?

 

At conception we take on our parent's genetic code blended 50-50 within us.  This includes all their strengths and capacities,  all that is possible for them.  It also includes all their vulnerabilities.  During the nine months after conception we grow inside mom and increasingly become aware of our environment withing the womb and around mom.  After our birth we are shocked into awareness of our vulnearabilites and of the power of those taking care of us.  We are absolutely dependent upon them.  Our very survival depends upon them.  We hyper-focus upon them to learn what and then who they are and where their power comes from.  Basically we use our brains and nervous system to ingest them.  We take in the self-care skills of mom and dad and whoever takes care of us or takes care of them.

 

When mom or dad or Aunt Martha call themselves names or othewise put themselves down that is part of their self-care.  When they allow themselves to be unaware of this negative self talk that unawareness is part of their self-care.

 

When they allow others to say such things to them or to others, that also is part of the unconciousness.

 

All of this comes into us and becomes a permanent part of our psychie and our self care for the rest of our lives.

 

As we grow up and our parents continue to mature and develop, they may grow in their ability to notice, interrupt and replace negative approaches to self-care.  They might notice because negative approaches don't work to improve the functionality of our plans.  They might not notice because the people around us during early life may also have modeled being unconscious about what didn't work.

 

All of us can make plans that work better for us as we become aware of our negative self talk and replace it with a particular kind of positive self talk.

 

It is important that the Affirmations I choose to say to myself throughout the day are well constructed and that they conform to the physics of human development. And it is important that I find the wherewithal to say them often enough to myself so that they counteract the effect of thousands of negative statements I make to myself every day.

 

After working on these ideas for several decades we have noticed that the it takes only about 10% positive affirmations to counteract the effect of negative self talk events in a day.  So if I say negative things to myself one thousand times in a day I will need about one hundred affirmations to break even.  When I say one hundred or more of them to myself as part of a daily mental health hygiene self nurturing structure, positive affirmations become powerful mood self care tools.   It is amazing that it seems to take only a small percentage of affirmation to counteract so much negative.

 

Some folks with mood disorders or anxiety disorders may need medical help before successfully learning new skills.  But building better self care skills can help speed up your process of stabilizing your life and help your medications work and perhaps reduce dosages.

 

We have presented some suggested structures for you to consider, download and modify as you see fit.

 

The difference between short-term memory and long-term memory is related to how many times the neurons are excited.  If a low stress event happens once or only a few times protein is not created... this is short-term memory.  Long Term Memory happens when a low stress event happens repeatedly over time. A DNA process is triggered which actually creates protein.  the memory is called long term because it is stored in this new protien.  This involves "binding molecules".  WIKIPEDIA

 

In your process of choosing to make a conscious experiment with Affirmations please read the column to the right; WE ARE BORN HUMAN SCIENTISTS and these links on: MINDFULLNESSNEURPLASTICITY and LONG TERM MEMORY.

 

AFFIRMATION SCIENCE EXAMPLE

 

Please call us or email us if you have questions:

 

chuck@selftimeout.org

AFFIRMATION

(dictionary.com)

–Noun

1.   the act or an instance of affirming; state of being affirmed.

2.  the assertion that something exists or is true.

3.  something that is affirmed; a statement or proposition that is declared to be true.

The Neuroanatomical Transformation of the Teenage Brain

Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor

WE ARE BORN HUMAN SCIENTISTS

 

Every Human Being is born Scientific.  Every thing we do is an Experiment and our survival from birth depends on our ability to Learn from those experiments.

 

Connie and I are not interested in convincing you to agree with us about AFFIRMATIONS.  We hope that you will choose to run your own experiments just because you are curious Human Beings.

 

The research of many professional Human Scientist into these areas of human psychology and family dynamics have answered our questions through their clever experimentation, documentation and anylysis. See our reading list.  But we have also come to know the answers to these questions personally from observing hundreds of familys and individuals learn these skills and our own personal and family learning.  You will choose to run your own experiments and learn what you can learn unless you decide not to run the experiments.

 

In real families these questions answer themselves in how old conflicts are resolved into new conflicts, or are transecended into new frames of reference. These new frames of reference lead to new problems to resolve with new choices and new plans which inevitably lead to new experiences which create new sensations, leading to wonderful unimagined human possibilities.

 

First I notice that I feel depressed or angry or powerless or hopeless.  At some point I might notice that I am talking to myself very negatvely.  When I notice negative self talk and then I choose to interrupt negative self talk and then I choose to replace negative self talk with affirmirmative self talk, I notice that I begin to have different feelings.  When I repeat this Noticing, Interruptiing and Replacing process all day long I begin to feel less anger, less powerlessness and less hopelessness.  I realize that I have voluntarily changed my own mood.

 

My mood has changed because I have voluntarily moved my focus off trying to force myself and shame myself to do things differently.  Instead I have begun to focus upon encourageing myself and remembering what is possible for all humans to accomplish and remembering what I have already accomplished.  I am voluntarily choosing to remember what I am capable of doing and remembering to notice when I am doing better.  I have voluntarily changed what I am focusing upon.

 

I begin to feel more powerful.  Not the power to manipulate or dominate but the powere to develop.  Not the power to believe I can get others to do stuff but the power to move through problems. I can give myself the realization that when I take responsibility for the consequences of my own choices in terms of daily self care, I am giving myself the  freedom from power struggle and from anyone (or any object or any situation) who would try to bully me.

 

There is something about moving through the physiological and psycological stages of developlement that frames new problems for us to solve as we move ahead and build our skills.  On good days I am faced with new delemas to reconcile, new power struggles to get stuck in and then choose to move through.

 

Fortunately we do not have to fully understand why a tool works in order for the tool to work.  Pencils work.  Wrenches work. Sometimes computers work. Gravety usually works.  I feel blessed when these tools work. I may need to understand much of why an airplane works in order to build one that works but I don't need to understand anything at all about how an airplane works to successfully be a passenger.  I do need some faith in order to get into the damn thing and tell them to take it up.  It is OK to need to understand the physics.   See our reading list. It is also OK to just make a prayer and then get on the airplane.  Faith in the tools of AFFIRMATION comes not from believing us but from giving the tools a good week long try out.  If a week feels too long give them a day.  If a day feels too long give them an hour.  We think it is wise to try POSITIVE AFFIRMATION long enough to couteract the effects of the very long running experiment we all have been doing by subjeting ourselves to all that negative self talk.

 

SHORT TERM STUDY TITLE: If I do some well designed affirmations today will I feel any different?

 

It is important that the Affirmations I choose to say to myself throughout the day are well constructed and that they conform to the physics of human development. And it is important that I find the wherewithall to say them often enough to myself so that they can possibly counteract the thousands of negative statements I make to myself every day.

 

Life is a process of experimenting with plans and learning from outcomes.  When I choose to make experiments and plans based upon the input my body gives me right now instead of upon impulse... I give myself a better chance at wisdom.  When I make an experimental plan and then I am willing to know how I feel about the outcome of the experimental plan and then I am also willing to use honest curiosity to evaluate the results of my experimental plan... I am doing what all humans can do to develop and survive.

 

We look at this as a logical process that leads to spiritual experience.  When I notice that I have the power to help myself by changing my focus and by using self care tools to take care of my own mood I realize that my mood is not the slave of any other person's behavior or any other person's mood.  This realization invites hope.  I can accomplish much with that hope.  First I can prove to myself that I can move through my troubles instead of staying stuck in them.  I only need to begin to make progress with my self-care to become a model for healing (for moving through difficulty) that my children or anyone who loves me will become endlesly curious about.

 

There is science here.

 

There is more than science here.

 

 

© All Rights Reserved

Chuck Britt, MA, LMFT and Connie Bonner-Britt, MA, LMFT

 

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Anacortes 98221,  Concrete 98237,  Lyman 98263,  Rockport 98283,  Bow 98232,  Conway 98238,  Marblemount 98267,  Sedro Woolley 98284,

Burlington 98233,  Hamilton 98255,  Mount Vernon 98273,  Clearlake 98235,  La Conner 98257,  Mount Vernon 98274